Being a Musician Fawkin' Rawks!

I attended a Christmas party where we got into a pretty in-depth discussion regarding the pop culture relevance of popular artists such as Britney, Madonna and Lady Gaga.  I made the argument that Lady Gaga had "jumped the shark" with her outrageousness in wardrobe and overall circus-like spectacle public outings as those things overshadow her actual musicianship.  The girl can play an instrument or two and can actually write songs.

I can't wait until she stops trying to go bigger and better with the Cique du Gaga shtick and reconnect with the DIY, struggling artist within her.  Even if that girl is long gone, perhaps her aura remains and would influence the songwriting on future records.  I guarantee it''l be the best record yet from her.


With all of that said, I do respect Gaga and others like her in their abilities to perform, sing/lip sync, and entertain a lot of people.  I don't have that skillset in my bag of tricks and I do admire their prowess at it.  However, when people would rather see your songs versus listen to them, something's wrong.

I was so charged by the conversation tonight that I rawked out the whole way home.  It was just the conversation I needed to remind me of just how much I love music and performing it (I think that the 2 songs I did via Rockband helped as well).  Can't wait until tomorrow to work on music for 2012!

Will Yourself To Health!

While I recover from a hacking cough, I am reminded just how powerful the human mind is.

I had an audition today for the remount of "In Living Color".   I found out about it two weeks ago and was so excited about it. I spent everyday thinking about the audition, picturing what it would be like to have a great audition, getting a callback to meet Keenan Ivory Wayans, and ultimately flying out to LA to shoot the pilot episodes.  I'd been working out regularly & watching what I eat, and getting my grill worked on for what I felt was no reason at all. Little did I know it was just to prepare me for this.  Then I gave myself an additional challenge...

On Thursday last week I woke up with stiff voice.  It progressed to me losing my voice right before performing on an improv open mic.  It totally cramped my rehearsal schedule as my voice wasn't really back until yesterday.  I looked at this bout with my voice which ultimately culminated into a full blown cold as my mind organizing my health schedule to effectively pre-emptively strike calamity with a cold so that I could recover by the time the audition happened.  Yeah...that's it.... :-)

I never get sick when I put my mind to being healthy.  I guess I put my mind into position for greater things to come.

Welcome To Your First today of Improv

I went to an improv showcase in the city last night to get some reps in before a big audition next week.  I took a fellow Salsation member with me and tried to prepare ourselves for a night of getting up on stage.

We schmoozed a bit with the teams there and with the event coordinator just to get a feel for what potential there was for getting up on stage as well as in what format.  There were 5 teams for the evening each with roughly 15-20 minutes of time.  That's plenty of time to do a showcase for improv, and I felt we could get lucky enough to maybe get our own set at the end.

Once the show started, I was in for a lot of surprises.  I felt like I went back in time and was getting schooled all over again in the different ways of improvising and putting up mini long-form improv.  Most of the people at this jam were from the Improv Olympic (I.O.) school of improvisation.  I could totally tell just by the focus of what the material and style itself consisted of.   I was introduced to the JTS Brown form, which actually was a form pioneered by an I.O. team of the same name helmed by Jason Sudeikis (Saturday Night Live), T.J. Jagodowski (T.J. & Dave), Peter Grosz (The Colbert Report), Ike Barinholtz (MADtv), Jack McBrayer (30 Rock), and John Lutz (television writer) (30 Rock).  I had to look it up during the show just to understand what they were trying to do and what the charms were supposed to be of this form.   I also saw a couple of two-man teams go up and do their thing which reminded me of just how hard it is to carry a show with a minimal amount of people and just how important it is to be on the same page both with skill and support.

As the night wore on, I notced that my already weakened voice was getting hoarser and softer.  Shite!  I was losing my voice!  And I needed to go on stage in a bit.  So, I laid off th evoice hoping that it would heal enough to get through our set.  We ended up joining a ton of people on stage for an improv mixer, and I was thrust into the world of I.O. improv.  With a jacked up voice and being a bit rusty, I went on to do the best I could for the night.  I had one scene that I felt had a lot of potential to be a really good scene had we both taken the time to listen and support each other a bit more.  Instead it fizzled out.


Overall, I am glad I got a chance to meet a ton of new people in the scene and will most likely return to play.

NEW WEEKLY GAME! "What's Wrong With This Ad?"

There are two websites I peruse frequently to keep my finger on what's going on in the local music scene - Craiglist and BlabberMouth.Net.   Whenever I get the chance to read the ads on Craigslist (CL) or the comments on BlabberMouth (BM), I am always amazed at what I read and ask myself, "Why would someone post this online?!".  So, I'll do my best be nice.  Here's this week's post:

"Hows it's going my name is Eddie and I just started a new band called as < insert witty cool band name ripped off from a popular band song title> which consists of all very talented and dedicated musicians.
Me and my drummer have been in a band together before that got pretty noticed locally
So we still have a lot of connections and have gigs lined up.
We are looking for a male vocalist ages 18-25 that can sing very well but also be raspy when we need it and must have a
Good band image and stage presence. The style we play can best be described by mixing avenged sevenfold, black tide, and adtr
Thats basically what you get we have a couple of songs made all we need is a dedicated good singer to start playing shows
So if you are interested my name is Eddie text me at X-XXX-XXX-XXXX and we can set up a audition please only text if your serious about this we want this to be our career!! Also please read the style we
Play we dont want just a singer we
Want someone who can sing n b raspy as well like ax7 n must use the lyrics we have for two established songs."

Here's what screams "run away all would be suitors" to this ad:

• In this band he has talented and dedicated musicians.  Then in the very next line we get to find out about basically two guys in the band.  Why can't the bassist get some props as well?
  
• Translate " Me and my drummer have been in a band together before that got pretty noticed locally" to "We're huge in Japan".  Did it?  OK.  Guess what.  That line means nothing because we probably never have heard of you in either form.  Again, in an effort to make their status sound bigger than what it really is, it comes off as he either thinks too much of this project or is just trying too hard.
  
• "So we still have a lot of connections and have gigs lined up." They have "tons of connections" but yet are posting on Craigslist to find people to join their project.  The two don't jive.  Typically if you're connected, you don't have to look too hard to find other members to add to your collective.  This line usually means, "Hey!  I know where to send our electronic press kit to at a given club.  I even know his name!"  With that said, unless these guys are really so good on their own two that they can book gigs without even having a full line up, I doubt they have anything set up. 
  
  
• It's good to state what age range you want your band members to be in as it does help with building a bond with each other when you're around the same age and have similar interests.  However, in every major market that has a thriving music scene, the minimum age you want your members to be is 21.  Why?  Because legally it's more difficult to play bars and clubs that sell alcohol when you're a minor.  There are some clubs that have ways around it by not allowing a minor into the club until their performance and then kicking them out afterwards, but no one wants to complicate the matter if they're operating at a professional level.
  
• Someone PLEASE explain what having a " Good band image and stage presence" means.  No where in this ad is this defined which leaves me to believe that they don't know what "stage presence" really means to themselves.  I can just imagine this scenario when I show up to the rehearsal space:
  
  
  BAND
  Hey man. You play pretty good.  What's your band image?
  
  
  ME
  Uhm, band image?
  
  
  BAND
  Yeah. When you rock on stage with us, what do you look like?
  
  
  ME
  (Confused) Probably what I look like now?
  
  
  (BAND Members look at each other
  and shake their heads)
  BAND
  Too bad, bro... you need to know what we look like together otherwise this ain't gonna work...
  
  
  ME
  (irately)How am I supposed to know that?! I JUST GOT HERE!
  
• His lack of proper grammar screams to me that he probably embodies a lot of unprofessional behavior.  Maybe I'm just a grumpy, old ass, washed up, bitter muscian, but if someone can't bother to use the built-in spell checker or bother to look up the basic rules of the period to separate his thoughts, they probably would drop a lot of other details once we started playing together.
  
• Finally, they don't understand what being a "singer" is.  Voice inflection/characteristics/style doesn't preclude someone from being a singer.  What they're looking for a diverse range of style from their singer, but by the way it's stated in the note, they feel that the singer must be "more than just a singer" to be able to get a raspy/scream like voice they're looking for.
  

There's all kinds of "wrong" in this note.  I hope they find what they're looking for and they make a good fit for each other.

Ready For Another One? I Think Not!

The Velazco Clan has grown by 2 in Chicago and 2 in Dallas, Tx/Bonaire, GA in the last 4 years.  Personally, I like having two and have always held a place in my heart for 3.  The question is: WHY?

I went to Hooters with my neighbor Jack and my son AKV to Hooters (yes, a family restaurant).  Our waitress was a very cute woman with a fun personality; her conversations seemed genuine and she seemed to be happy.  At some point in the service she started talking to AKV by asking him how old he was, if he was enjoying his chocolate milk and fries, and other fun questions.  My son is very shy around strangers (a la The Wifey) so I helped him answer the questions.  She then mentioned she had a son who was the same age he was.  That kicked off a conversation about children.  I come to find out she had 4 kids - it blew my frakin' mind!

Her body was in AWESOME shape for poppin' out 4 kids and she seemed to be pretty young.  They were all spaced 2 years apart.  Just the thought of having more than 2 made me sick to my stomach; all of the running around after them; having to dealing with raging hormones on both sides of the gender war; realizing the further erosion of our self-image, free time, and finances; all of these thoughts hit me at once when she mentioned she had four and was hoping for 1 more.  I wanted to ask her if she had a vajayjay or was starting her own damn refugee camp!

I asked her about her "man" and she seemed to allude she was married (I finally saw the ring on her finger) and she didn't seem to make a big deal about him contributing to the Partridge Family tribute act she was raising.  She then told us about her "need for speed" - she apparently races cars semi-professionally.  I'm no NASCAR expert but I do know that racing is a HUGE investment of time and money even at the hobby level.  She told us she had a sponsors and spent roughly $10-$15K a year on keeping her car in contention.  I then started redoing all of my math again - 4 kids, race car, wants a 5th kid, she works at Hooters.  Either she's an awesome racer, her man makes a ton of money, she has another side job, or her kids incur no expenses.  No way she could sustain that lifestyle

*CORRECTION*

No way I could sustain that lifestyle :)

I didn't have the gall to pry anymore into her personal life as I felt weird talking to a scantily clad server already and had the fear of become that "creepy customer" so I let it go.  This experience helped me decide that I'm not ready for #3 just yet.