Are Jew Habby To Be On Baycayshone?! Part IV

Gotta love Las Vegas. If you ever think you a weight problem and don't actually live hear, the town will take care of that for you. I must've walked a million miles in these shoes, and trust me, they're stinky!

We got to see a lot of things while in Vegas. Here's a clip of the water show outside of the Bellagio (I scored it with Reel Big Fish' cover of New York, New York):

One night we got the chance to check out Second City at the Flamingo. I made a phone call to the box office to see if SCTC students could get an additional discount ($40 show here where it would've cost maybe $12 back home). After a couple of minutes on home, I received two complimentary pases from the manager David (thanks David!)! I recognized a couple of Chicago mainstagers performing so that felt good. I was really excited to see some good acting and funny concepts.

We also got the chance to check out Cirque De Solei's Zumanity.

It's their cabaret/topless show where they can make additional appendages bend and move in unfathomable ways, get paid $70 a head, and not get arrested for it! It actually was very well done and entertaining. I didn't realize ho much audience participation was going to be involved. Had we been in the first 4-5 rows, I am sure we would've been chosen to go up on stage and be made fun of us in some way, shape, or form. The best part of the shop was a little person (formerly known as a midget) doing some crazy flying/twisting/body stuff with two sheets of cloth connected to a harness that dropped down from the ceiling and whirled him around. He had a fantastic physique and was over-the-top in what he sold to the public. Props go to the little man!

We checked out Treasure Island's street show The Sirens of T.I. I hate to say it but, boy, did it suck. Two ships facing each other on opposite ends of the block, one with an all male cast with broad chests, a guy dressed up as a parrot, and everyone yelling "argh" between their lines, and the other one with a crew of hot ladies with dancing as their only weapon of attack and defense, square of over a 45-minute set. The men would shoot "cannonballs" at the girl's ship, destroy half of it, then the sirens would sing a song back to them and sink the ship. WTF?! Most of the dance routines weren't well executed and all the singing was lip-synced. You would hear some very strong, full Christina Aguilera-type voice coming from a girl jumping around the stage that looked like Pamela Anderson without a skip, missed note, or even pant. Even Ashley Simpson would've been like, "Uhm...that looks fake!"

We also took Lola to a large 12 acre dog park where she got her run and bark on. I wish they had more of like these back in Chicago instead of the bed of a neighbor's 84 Dodge Dart to play in.

Now, as for the gambling, we lost a lot of money at different hotels. We hit up the MGM Grand, NY NY, Hooters (trust me, the girls that work there for the most part are nothing like the girls working at the restraunts), O'Sheas, Flamingo, Fitzgerald's, and Caesar's Palace. Jill caught me trying to bum a nickel off a high roller there:



I've become really decent at playing craps...decent at losing cash that is. But at least now I understand the game and actually know what to bet instead of throwing down nickels everywhere.

OK, I've gotta check out and eat, so, look for another installment soon!

Are Jew Habby To Be On Baycayshone?! Part III

Aloha from the sunny state of Nevada! Yes, we're here and got our first taste of the Sin City! Getting here was fun.

In our last report, we got stuck in the great town of Goodland, KS. *sniff* I will really miss that place. They staff was so nice and friendly. They even took my picture in the lodge:

In the morning, we checked the road and weather reports and heard that they decided to open up I-70 going east since the storm decided to put its feet up in Colorado, thus effectively, shutting down the entire state which also included our trek through Nevada and Utah. So, we decided to head back and hour through Kansas to Highway 80 which cut right through Kansas top to bottom, part of Oklahoma, and the Texas panhandle to get to New Mexico. A lot of the time we were the only car on the road. We stopped at and let Lola represent her hood to a bunch of buffaloes literally chillin' in the fields:

Snow drifts were abundant and so was ice. But it was cool watching it all diminish and the sun come out to greet us the further south we headed. Along the way, Jilly V took some cool artistic pictures of trees:

In New Mexico, the M.N.F.N Po pulled a sista over and gave her a ticket for 9 miles over the speed limit when trying to pass a slow az truck! I hate it when people just do their jobs sometimes...unlike me I suppose We got to Albuquerque and finally put up for the night. As tempting as karaoke was to do in the lobby with only like 6 people there, we decided to hit the sack after driving around for an hour looking for a dang Taco Bell. We let the universe guide our driving. I bet Stevie Wonder would've found the TB before us!

We then headed to AZ to Flagstaff. Not much really happened other than the gorgeous scenery. I really like mountains because they are so inspiring. The represent one's will to overcome in any situation. It was a good juxtaposition for some news I got in the morning. I found out one of my close family members is really sick. The news in itself wasn't all too surprising, but it just sucks because the current situation was really preventable with a little foresight. It made me think of myself and my own mortality as well. I haven't really been taking care of myself lately and have been eating lots of crappy foods due to the choices I'm making on the road which don't offer the best things to eat. I will be getting healthier as the time goes on. Now that we're stationary, that should be a bit easier. We got though to Flagstaff, searched for another TB and then I got to drive.

From Flagstaff on, not much really happened. I checked up on a couple of folks in medical situations along the way (both are fine), and listened to the new Incubus record, the Metallica Load album (which to me is still their most ambitious album to date. To all of you ole skool Metallica heads, 1982 is over), and lots of songs on shuffle. We made it over to the Hoover Dam and checked it out at night for a few minutes. We then hopped back into the car and got to Vegas. We went riding down the strip and shot some footage which I'll be working on in a few days.

While in Vegas, we plan to check out a lot of the free stuff and some shows. Not sure exactly what but the next report should be a doosie! I wonder if Thunder From Down Under is having auditions...

Currently listening : Light Grenades By Incubus Release date: By 28 November, 2006

Are Jew Habby To Be On Baycayshone?! Part II

Thanks to an incessant snow storm, I'm stuck in Goodland, KS for another night . Apparently the handling of snow in a town/state being so close to the Rockies isn't paramount. All major interstates are closed so we can't go anywhere just yet. I do appreciated the fact that the town felt that the money used to buy a giant sized Picasso painting would be way more useful than dumping it into snow plows!

The weather also turned my vehicle into into a gas-guzzlin' MoMosicle:

The local life here is killer! They have a Wendys, Taco Johns, Pizza Hut, Subway...Wal-Mart was totally rad. We walked around and marveled at the fact that everything was actually stocked, neat, and orderly and there was hardly anybody there! Here's a snap of me walking around looking for shoppers from a security camera:

So, we're holding up well. I did some Christmas shopping at WallyWorld. I've watched a lot of MTV reality TV so now I'm up-to-date with The Real World, Rob&Big, and the Twenty-Four Seven...*sigh* Oh Gawd... GET ME OUT OF HERE!

Hopefully tomorrow we can get back on the road. The roads are gonna suck to go into Colorado so we're looking at maybe back-tracking to another major highway in Kansas and heading souf to warmer places to maybe later truck over to Baygahz.

Currently watching : Little Miss Sunshine Release date: By 19 December, 2006

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Are Jew Habby To Be On Baycayshone?! Part I

While enjoy the thrills of my Sprint mobile card, I've had the chance to see a lot of Illinois, Missouri, and now Kansas. Lots of excitement, let me tell ya!

Illinois was alright but it's horribly flat and boring. I hate driving through Illinois because there is nothing to it.

Corn...farm...grass....cow...fence...she-ot....cop...slow down...corn...meth lab..speed up...bridge...gas station...road kill...

We got the chance to stop off at my buddy J's house (yes, he gets an entire letter of the alphabet to himself cuz he's that cool!) in St. Peters, MO which is just west of St. Louis, MO and St. Louis, IL . He got himself a cozy three bedroom, two baff home near a park. Lola had a wonderful time sniffing and playing in other dogs' leftovers outside in a big yard. *sigh* Wish I could get one for her...guess I'll need to hold up a bank....blood bank...then demand more cash...or the plasma gets it! J gave me a book entitled No One Wants to Know what You Had For Lunch: 100 Ideas For Your Blog. I guess my skills at posting up daily has gotten a few people in the spirit to make help make it a bit spicier Look for some really cool blogs to come your way in the next few weeks.

Missouri is a much prettier state than anticipated. Lots of rolling prairies (they're true! Thank gawd for Texas' public education giving me the DL on the plains!) and reddish in tint which made that enjoyable to drive through. It has lots of hills that are reminiscent of Texas. We drove through Boonville, home of my buddies in Clatter. There they have lovely gas stations. I mean, they REALLY take care of their customers by providing the perfect prophylactic for your animalistic needs. Check out the words of encouragement below:



Now, first off, I'm glad they reminded me that contraception is a novelty concept. With that attitude, I'm sure the birth rate of Latinos will go dramatically down. I'm also happy to know that both my health and number of dependents relies on the expertise of the Koreans! Now that's service!

Kansas has been pretty uneventful. Lots of driving and rain. I enjoy checking out what bridges have cell towers installed on them (almost everyone) and seeing a lot of darkness. The family seems to be in high spirits while we listen to everything from Rage Against the Machine to Keller Williams and The Keels to Dar Williams to Pantera. I'm currently trying to download software to convert movies to iPod format but to no avail Internet connectivity is apparently bridge to bridge at the moment and those are few and far between.

More to come!

Currently listening : Soundsystem By 311 Release date: By 12 October, 1999

Go Mules!

I'm not known to be much of a sports fan but I must say congratulations to the Alamo Heights High School "Mighty" Mules for garnering their first state footbal championship! My alma mater will be talking about the '06 Mules as much as Chicagoans bemoan their '85 bears!

Currently listening : Revelations By Audioslave Release date: By 05 September, 2006

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The MoMo Jams the i-PoPo

I spent two hours today installing a module for my MoMo that lets me hookup my iPod directly into the sound system, and allows me to control it from the regular radio controls! Mrs. V. took one for the team this morning, and wasted three hours of her life sitting in a custom audio shop where they took apart my dash and claimed I didn't have the right part to install. Oh, and they were going to charge me $150 cash moe-nee for the labor! Luckily they didn't charge us for the work they did because they didn't want to spend the additonal time looking in the car for the right harness.

I called up the guy who sold me the part and he described to me generically what had to be done. I then decided to take on the task myself and two hours later, I had a working iPod module! Yea me!

Listening to Milli Vanilli in the car has never sounded so good!

Currently listening : Girl You Know It's True By Milli Vanilli Release date: By 25 October, 1990

I Ama Wine Deeng Dow Oon...........NAHT!

I've done a pretty decent job of securing myself theatrical work through April next year at a minimum thanks to the activities of the weekend!

I had rehearsals of some sort Friday night and all day Saturday. Sunday was a big day because I had received news that the Second City Writing 5 auditions were on Sunday starting at noon. I had asked if I needed to sign up and I was told, "Oh, no you just need to show up." I woke up early on Sunday , got ready for the audition, and called SCTC around 11:30 AM.

"Hello, are you having writing 5 auditions at noon?" I asked the gentleman on the other end of the line.

"Hold on. Let me check," he replied. I waited for a good 7 minutes before he came back and said, "Yeah, but all of the slots are taken up. You can come down here and get on the standby list if you want to audition."

I was a little peeved because I should've called earlier but chose not to. After some coaxing from the Mrs., I decided to take my scripts for my shows down with me while I waited for a slot to open up. I printed out an up-to-date resume and figured I was good to go since my headshot was in the car. Or so I thought...

I get to the car, start it up, and look for my H/R which was in the same binder as my script. After a lot of searching, nothing. I was like, "Are you kidding me?!" I figured there was a reason I chose to forget it somewhere so I retraced my steps in my head as I zoomed down the backstreets of Chicago to get to 90/94 to head south to North Ave. After thinking about it, I must've left it at the rehearsal studio for the show. DOH!

I had to get plan B into gear. I figure I could sign-in at SC, get on the waiting list, then run over to Walgreens across the street and printout a headshot. I showed up at SC and asked the gentleman running the sign-in desk, "So...what's your stand-by policy?"

"Oh, well, we can sign you in at 12:45. There are plenty of slots."

Pinche fang baby The dude on the phone gave me a crock of shizzle and I made it sizzle. So, I signed in and subsequently gave myself 45 minutes to get a headshot printed up.

I ran over to Walgreens and spoke to the lady working behind the counter. I asked her if there was any way we could log into my account form the store and submit and order. I was flatly told "No" so I had to improvise. Wife to the rescue! I call my wife and ask her to submit the order. After walking her through the various pages, we get the order finished and submitted. The photo didn't get printed out and paid for until 12:40 PM. I ran back over to the 4th floor of Piper's Alley just in time to find out that the other group is running a little late. Cool! I filled out my paperwork, handed over my headshot and resume and chilled for 15 minutes.

The audition went extremely well. We did 15 minutes of improvisation followed by a cold reading of one of the scripts. Afterwards I bought some musical improv books and headed back out to the lobby where I ran into a castmate in my musical improv class who was also auditioning for the same thing. She talked me into sticking around for Musical Improv Jam that started around 3:00 PM.

I went to the Jam and a bunch of my MI castmates were there to partake in the fun along with 50 other mofos trying to get a chance to play I had a good time playing with the level of folks there. We had some people who clearly had done musical improv before so I learned a lot that night. I also ran into someone who I had auditioned for previously on another job (I didn't get it). After the jam, she hit me up for my number and is interested in getting me into their fine establishment. So, I basically did a second audition that day! YEAH!

Monday night I had rehearsal at my crib from 7-10 PM then I booked out to get to my first live performance with My Warped Reality at an open mic. Not only did we rock out but I got to do some stand-up comedy while they set up as well as play by myself afterwards (I played Courageous Rue tracks Face First Into a Brickwall, F.D.P., and Hypocrite). I didn't get home until 2 AM the next morning. I fell asleep quickly

Yesterday I got asked to join the cast for the Writing 5 shows! Hellz yeah. So, expect to see those shows taking me through April of next year.

Currently watching : Sleeper Cell - American Terror - The Complete Second Season Release date: By 20 March, 2007

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Nelson V Gift Ideas for Christmas

Every year I hear "You're so hard to shop for" during a gift giving occasion (my birfday, Christmas, Boxing Day, etc.). Here's a list of items I'd love to see under a Christmas tree somewhere:

A theremin - I've been wanting to not put my hands on one for such a long time to make cool sounds and master the art of playing the air around. A Line 6 Pod version 2.0 or Line 6 Pod XT - lost mine this year somehow An 88 key MIDI keyboard with weighted keys - I'm looking at learning the piano so getting this would help the studio as well as my foray into musical theatre direction. Norelco electric shaver accessories - gotsta keep this mug trimmed at all times! Second City Gift Certificates - I be shellin' lots of cash for classes. Help a brother out! An inversion table - I love hanging out. Cakewalk Sonar 6 Producer Full Version - Need the tools to make the hits Propellerhead Reason 3.0 Full Version - What's the Reason? It's the shizzle! The Entire Collection of 'OZ' on DVD - This is one wizard I never want to actually meet but love watching! Used PS2 video games Yamaha O1X digital mixer - Gotta mix with feeling...literally Die-cast model of the Nissan Murano - I love my MoMo Survivorman, Season 1 on DVD A MultiTool like a Swiss Army Knife A Flat-Panel, large screen TV to mount on my wall in my living room Gas-Powered barbeque/grill Gifts certificates to: Best Buy Circuit City MicroCenter CompUSA Guitar Center Music123 Second City Training Center Joel Hall Dance Studios Urban Oasis Spa PetSmart Target Home Depot iTunes Dick's Sports Zanies Cool art for my walls in my home Richard Cheese CDs - I LOVE RICHARD CHEESE! Please buy them for me Tickets to Incubus on February 6th, 2007 in Chicago. It sold out before I could get some Sleeper Cell Seasons I & II on DVD - Gotta love that Darwin! I, of course, reserve the right to append to the list as I think of stuff to add. Use it as a guide. Get creative on your own. If it comes down to you wishing me a happy holidays and giving me a pound, cool Currently listening : The Funky Headhunter By MC Hammer Release date: By 01 March, 1994

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