Monday, December 4, 2006

How The $%$&. Is This News?!

I am amazed how every year people are employed to tell us stuff we already know. For example, news stations and their weatherpeople:

Let's go to our special reporter Mary Donchano on the scene at a popular Chicago bus terminal.

Hey Fred. I'm bundled up here and IT'S COLD! People have been dressing in layers, wearing sweaters, jackets, and coats while waiting outside for a bus. They are keeping their heads down to keep the wind out of their faces.

My gawsh, that's awful. What in the world would cause this dilemma?

It seems the temperature drops significantly when the northern half of the Earth tips aways from the Sun. We deem it as "winter" here, Fred.

Whoah ho! That's pretty strange...even for Chicago!

You would be surprised, Fred. People have been telling me that Chicago gets incredibly cold due to its position in the midwest. The temperature gets very low...sometimes even to a point below freezing!

Below freezing! (Thinks to himself. Looks away from the camera) Hmmm, it gets cold in Chicago, huh? (Back to camera) Ladies and gentlemen, if you've just joined us: it gets REALLY cold in Chicago. Water may freeze, snow may fall, and wind may blow! We will have a special 30 minute report at 10 on this phenomenon called "Winter".

I have yet to figure out how winter is news. For the summer, they do the same things. It's like Chicagoans are never satisfied with weather extremes.
Currently listening :
Too Soon Monsoon
By Wheatus
Release date: By 18 October, 2005

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