Girls Gone Wild Gave Me a Phone Number!

I called 1-800-FREE-411 to get the # for a Domino's Pizza near my house. It's a semi-automated system. The conversation with the computer went something like this:

COMPUTER

In order to better server you, please just answer the questions as they are asked. What city and state, please?

NELSON

Chicago, IL

COMPUTER

Chicago, Illinois. Is this correct?

NELSON

Yes

COMPUTER

Are you looking for a business, government office, or residence?

NELSON

Business.

COMPUTER

Please state the name of the business.

NELSON

Domino's Pizza.

COMPUTER

What street is it on?

NELSON

Pulaski.

COMPUTER

There are so many locations. Please hold for a customer service representative.




The lady came on and asked me all the same questions before and found the right place.

COMPUTER

This call is sponsored by... (creepy guy's voice interjects) GIRLS GONE WILD! WE'RE WILLING TO SEND YOU TWO GIRLS GONE WILD VIDEOS ABSOLUTELY FREE. YOU JUST PAY SHIPPING AND HANDLING.

(Back the feminine voice) The number is 773.650.3030. Press 1 to repeat the phone number. Press 3 to receive a text message of this phone number. Press 2 to connect to (creepy guy voice again) GIRLS GONE WILD!




Holy shizzle! It creeped me out and made me laugh hysterically at it.

Currently listening : As Ugly as They Wanna Be By Ugly Kid Joe Release date: 15 October, 1991

Comics and Comics

I've gone back and been catching up on my comic book reading. I was an avid Wolverine collector, and still have my comics sitting in a box in their mylar bags just waiting to be sold to the highest bidder.

In my quest to meet chicks in middle school, I thought it would be cool to pretend I was Wolverine sulking around the neighborhood with my arms stretched out with fists just waiting to pop my claws out of my knuckles with the cool sound of "snikt" being muttered by me at all times. I would climb trees like a monkey trying to spy on girls and use my mutant healing factor (a.k.a, a band-aid) whenever I would get hurt on my missions.

My love affair with comic books died when two things happened. 1) Comic books were hitting the $1.50 an issue mark, which on a $5 week allowance, chewed up a lot of my income, and 2) I figured out girls don't like dorks who live out comic book characters. When I realized I wasn't cool, my days of collecting were behind me.

Fast-forward to year 30 in my life. I walk by comic stores and look at all the cool artwork and posters on the wall. I started feeling the twinge of excitement I had felt when I was 11 and patiently waiting for Wolverine #22 to hit the shelves at the local Stop N' Go. So, I picked up the Ultimate Wolverine collections and picking up where I left off with Wolverine #50. I read through all of those in a hurry and got caught up and reacquainted with my old friend Wolvie (He lost his adamantium, went through a crisis with his own wanting to continue being Wolverine, fought Sentinels, got a bit more into the Wolverine/Mystique back story,etc.).

I've just finished reading the first volume in Wolverine:Enemy of the State, which according to the comic book store owners, is a killer series. So far so good on that. So, I've come full circle in my uncoolness. This time though, I am happy being who I truly am and accept it .

Currently reading : Wolverine: Enemy of the State By Mark Millar Release date: 25 October, 2006

Things That Make You Go "Hmmmmmmm?"

I came home after my class yesterday excited for the first time in a very long time for a first day of class. I got an instructor who I have had before so I kind of expected him to rehash a lot of the same stuff we went over in previous classes, which would normally consists of a lot of lecturing about improvisation and the true art of it and almost no time to actually play. I was happily surprised when we spent the first half going over what satire truly is (vs. sarcasm or cynicism) and how to find out the target of the story. We then spent the second half acting out ideas. I can see me having fun with this class as we're preparing to go into our ubber-level shows with written material based off of improv. Also, the instructor demands a lot of respect from the class so a lot of the horsing around going on in previous classes subsided to a more acceptable level , thus, we could actually pay attention to each other and treat each other with artistic respect. Once again, very cool! Finally, the ensemble for the first time formally decided to make an email/phone/contact list! It's only been, what?, 18 weeks we've been playing together! I see this as a big shot in the arm of the group and if our previous shows are any indication of our potential to put on great shows, all this work is going to make our next few shows even better!

Out of class yesterday, I was happy with a good blackout I came up with. I plan to write that bizzatch out. That now makes 3 good blackouts that I feel are strong that came directly out of improv.

In other news, I've been asked to formally join one of the theatre companies I play with as a full-fledged ensemble member. I need to get back to them with my answer soon but I think I'm down for it. Cool! Now I can add "Ensemble Member" to my resume.

For my show Brazilian Wax Museum this Friday, I'm going to work on getting all buff. I get to show a little bit of skin on stage. That Bally's membership is actually going to get used this week! Only 1 time!

And finally, a old friend of mine from Texas found me on MySpace. Cyberstalking is awesome! J/K Teri Ann. So, I look forward to chit-chatting with her a bit and playing a 10+ year catchup game!

More to come!

Currently listening : Chiquita Banana By Edmundo Ros Release date: 10 February, 1998

Cut Your Time In Half By Strapping On Your Wheels!

I took my dog for a walk/run today. She used four legs. I used 8 wheels. We turned our usual thirty minute walk into a 15 minute run. It was awesome! She should sleep well tonight!

Any of you out there Rollerblade?

Currently listening : Shoofia By Tom Cloud Release date: 05 April, 2005

Note: This was originally posted on MySpace with comments at:
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=16074757&blogID=240748601&Mytoken=31DEA765-A493-4B33-8D1AA01EABB713C661395485

Wreck Magnet

As I cruised towards my morning rehearsal yesterday, I made a few stops along the way. I made entrances at Target and Kohl's to find a shirt and tie to bring for my morning rehearsal/show (I must admit, I did look pretty damn fly ). I then headed into Pit Lane to pump $50 of 93 octane gasoline into the MoMo at the corner of Elston and North Avenue. Then tragedy struck.

There were two cars heading south on Elston to turn east onto North Avenue. I pulled out from the gas station behind the second car. Suddenly, a semi heading west on North decides to make wide right turn onto Elston to head North. Both cars in the turning lane decide to rear up. I look at the situation and begin honking my horn to get the car in front my to stop since I was behind them but no avail. *CRUNCH* The right front panel on my beloved MoMo got hit!

We pulled back into the gas station, exchanged information, and went along our unmerry ways. The person was very cooperative and I spent the entire time working on being calm and collected although I was incredibly upset about the situation. No amount of yelling at this person was goig to do any good so I kept myself as professional as I could. I was pretty impressed with the way I handled myself considering I could've ripped Sunday edition newspapers in half at that time.

This is the second claim in 4 weeks on the MoMo . The other time, the MoMo was parked in the parking lot of a grocery store and some dude backed up into it. What is it about my beloved vehicle people just feel the need to run into it?

Currently listening : Mandy Patinkin By Mandy Patinkin Release date: 25 October, 1990

Note: This was originally posted on MySpace with comments at:
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=16074757&blogID=240118036&Mytoken=31DEA765-A493-4B33-8D1AA01EABB713C661395485