Having done my research of watching trashy daytime TV, I felt like I must list out the obligatory list of catchphrases in the case you are ever taken to NY to let the world know you're a degenerate:- (While screaming) "*Father's name*, when that DNA [test] comes back saying you are the father, you need to step up, and be a man, and take care of your responsibilities!!!"
- "Maury, I'm 1000% sure I (am/am not) that baby's father!"
- (While pointing at the TV screen with a side-by-side set of pictures of the baby & the accused) "Look at that! Look at that, Maury! My baby got the same (mouth/eyes/nose/ears/forehead/hairline/complexion/buckteeth/IQ) as his Daddy!"
- "I ain't slept with nobody else except him, Maury! I swear!"
Note: You can predict what the outcome will be due to the use of the double negative in this statement.
- "Maury, I'm step up and take care of that kid."
- (While screaming) "*Mother's name*, there's no way I can be the father of that kid cuz I went to the doctor and he told me I was sterile! So there's no way I can be the father of that baby!"
Note: The kind of guy saying this has 3-4 other kids with 3-4 other women.
- "There's no way I can be the father of that baby cuz we only had sex one time...it last only 2 minutes!"
If you have any other lines to offer, post 'em up!
 | Currently reading: Against the Machine: How the Web Is Reshaping Culture and Commerce -- and Why It Matters By Lee Siegel Release date: 2009-03-17 |
Note: This was originally posted on MySpace with comments at http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=16074757&blogId=484419537
I went for a walk around my parent's neighborhood tonight. It was awesome to look up in the sky and actually see stars! I found my good friend Orion was waving at me with Ursa Major in tow 
. Seeing the sky is awesome! It makes me feel like there are bigger things in this universe than my own sphere of influence.
The last major holiday celebrated by many was New Years Day. I gathered with family and called friends to wish them a year's worth of good times. In many cases, I got the empty, cold, hard LCD messages wishing me the same thing in return. I already have my very opinionated thoughts on the demise of functional social interactions being perpetuated by modern "communication" technology; thus, when I received these messages, the messages lost their meaning and the effort felt half-assed even if the intention was whole hearted.
I really enjoyed playing music tonight. It was such a great release creatively to play dulcet tones from my glittery guitar. I ran through a bunch of my own material tonight before Static Republic's rehearsal and that was a great joy. I was rediscovering a lot about myself while singing about about past relationships, self-empowerment, and the occasional science fiction melodramas. 
KFC has offered many municipalities a chance to fix the various problems with their streets by picking up the tab for pothole repair. The only catch is that they would be allowed to stencil "Refreshed by KFC" on the top of the newly laid asphalt. Mayor Daley stated during a press conference that he would be interested in sdealing with KFC "if they were serious". How do you get more serious than offering to pick up potentially milllions of dollars of roadwork?! They're not being disingenuous as they're getting a total PR plan into action. I think the idea personally is brilliant.