A Carrot Even Bugs Won't Bite Into...

Holy sh*t! When did this happen?! Carrot Top took a whole lot of WeightGain 2000, trained with Beefcake, and got all buff! It doesn't make me like his act much more but he's now got a body the ladies can get onto

Beefcake! BEEFCAKE!!!

Currently listening : MACHINA/The Machines of God By The Smashing Pumpkins Release date: 29 February, 2000

Say It Ain't So, Carlos (Menstealia)!

I'm a big Carlos Mencia fan. I've seen Carlos numerous times and have paid good money to see him. I saw his last performance at Zanies in Chicago prior to him getting his Mind of Mencia show (which for the first two seasons has been a rehash of his standup material, thus, has been a bit of let down for me since I've heard 90% of it already) and it was awesome. I know a lot of his material by heart and respect a lot of what he's accomplished. Then I see this:

Joe Rogan VS Carlos Mencia ON STAGE!

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My friend Raj, who's also a standup comic, has been talking to me over the last couple of years about how Carlos steals material from other comics. Now, I have to admit, it IS hard to write original material due to the fact that there is so much of it out there already and you may have heard it, forgot about it, then turn around and write a joke thinking it was original. I've heard this same issue come up from comedians like Eddie Murphy, Eddie Griffin, Rosie O'Donnel, George Lopez, Mark White, and Dave Atell. There is a little unspoken leeway given between comics because of that. However, in the case of Carlos, it seems that people are saying he's taking bits word for word almost and claiming it as his own. Now, that fawkin' sucks!

Like the Joe Rogan blog on this, I once saw a comedian steal another comedians material word for word myself, and was 1)appalled by the fact someone did this, and 2)shocked that someone would actually try to pawn off jokes as his own wittingly. I had gone to Austin to hang out with my best friend, and due to his weird pharmacists hours (he's a legit pharmacist, folks! ), I had a Tuesday night to go check out some of Austin's nightlife. I decided to go to Capitol City Comedy Club and check out their open mic. I saw a lot of funny people go up and a lot of not so funny people. In the crowd, I saw a guy wearing a Martin Lawrence t-shirt with a picture of him and a caption that read "You So Crazy". I had just rented this film of one night of standup and that it was pretty funny. So, eventually, the dude goes up there and is telling jokes and is completely bombing. I saw this shift in his face and then saw him perform the "That's What Friends Are For Bit" from "You So Crazy"!!!

Immediately I stopped and thought, "WTF?! Are you serious." I sat there and shook my head right in front of the guy while he did the bit with a very smug, pissed look on my face. After the show, I went around greeting each of the comics still hanging around and thanking them for making my $3 worthwhile. When it came to him, I totally skipped the dude.

Now, I've seen one comic pull off another persons material in an acceptable manner. I was at an open mic in Schaumburg and this older guy comes up, does 7 minutes of his own material and then says, "Now, if you bear with me, I'd like to pay tribute to the great, late Rodney Dangerfield". He then rats off a boatload of Rodney jokes, complete with actions, inflections, and timing. Fantastic fawkin' job!

As for Carlos, I have to see how this plays out. Like Joe said, he is a fantastic performer and at least until now, I've always felt he was a great comic. Carlos, if you are stealing sh*t, you need to stop it. Drop all the stolen stuff from your act, Carlos, and get to work on new stuff that's even better than those items heavily inspired/stolen. If you haven't stolen a thing, then you still need to drop anything under question and come back with new, original stuff. The jury is still out on this for me so I'd like to see some new stuff come out and squash the rumours once and for all.

In general, one can steal a joke as long as that person gives credit to the originator. I remember hanging out with my friends in high school and that same best friend of mine would use my jokes. Everytime he would, I'd yell "GIVE ME CREDIT!". Holy shizzle! That just came to me to. I guess I've always been this way about the craft of comedy.

Currently listening : Friends By Dionne Warwick Release date: 25 October, 1990

Note: This was originally posted on MySpace with comments at:
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=16074757&blogID=231230837&Mytoken=500D9A24-4E22-4BA0-8092A0A295E4FF9A60752154

Slavery Is Over

One of the best supergroups of the last 10 years is over (for now). Audioslave has broken up. Dang it. Well, it comes just in time for me to gear up for the Pumpkins reunion shows and new record. Such a shame considering they made such awesome music and three excellent albums in a row.

Currently watching : Invincible Iron Man Release date: 23 January, 2007

Kings of Pain

I'm super psyched about The Police reuniting and going on tour since I've never had the chance to see them and they're one of the greatest rock bands in history. I've actually imagined what it would be like for years to see "Every Breath You Take" live as Sting croons "I'll be watchin' you".

However, the ticket prices really suck! This is definitely going to be a sold out tour. So, if I want tickets, I've got to participate in a pre-sale. OK, no problem. I go to their tour website and see that I have to join their fan club. OK, no problem. I click on "join now" and then *bam* - a request for $100! OK, big problem! And what do I get for $100?

• Priority ticketing before the general public - Early Access to Concert Tickets - up to four tickets for any one show per membership.
  
  OK. So, I paid $100 for the chance to maybe get some tickets? Ticket prices are expected to run $50 to $225 dollars a pop to bring them to a total of $150-$325 each?! I know...I get to pay for the priviledge of seeing them, right?!
  
  
• Access to Message Boards including the Members-only sections
  
  Uhm, unless I get the members to talk to me directly, who cares?!
  
  
• Exclusive Police photos and videos
  
  I've been on Cops before so this ain't new to me (I was the unidentified brown male high off eating gold paint and running away with his shirt off ). But really...who cares?! Maybe if they provide a full length video of each concert for free download to burn at your own leisure, that'd be cool.
  
  
• Members-only discount to Police Online store
  
  A discount?! That's it? I'm going to pay a bunch of money just for a ticket or two. I'd rather have free parking for the show, some food, and drink tickets for the price!
  
  
• Membership Premium: Commemorative Lithograph with band replica signatures*



*Lithographs with band's actual signatures will be randomly given out to new members

Oh, wow. A LITHOGRAPH! Well, maybe I can recoup my out-of-pocket cost by putting my authentically/nonauthentically signed lithograph on e-Bay or craigslist.org.

It's funny how much of a fan I am until it hits me right in the pocketbook. Maybe I'll get an early Christmas present . Looks like"I'll be...wrapped around Sting's finger..."

Currently listening : Every Breath You Take: The Classics By The Police Release date: 11 January, 2005

No-Nos on the Mo-Mo

Yesterday my wife calls me up and tells me "Uhm, I've got some bad news. I just noticed that there's a crack int he windshield right behind the mirror and it's getting bigger. I don't know how it got there." I was a little upset, but, what can you do?

Fast-forward about 4 hours later. I'm trying to get to bed because for some reason I am getting weird senses of vertigo and wasn't able to walk around. Plus, some of my joints were getting stiff for no reason. So, I tapped on my thymus a bit more and laid down to sleep. The phone rings and its my wife again. She tells me some guy ran into the back of the Mo-Mo while she was at Dominick's and dented the bumper. Luckily the guy came in and paged her to exchange information. Happy Times!

So, my beautiful car is falling apart on me already . Calls to insurance and dealerships are in store this week.

Currently reading : Musical Improv Comedy: Creating Songs in the Moment By Michael Pollock Release date: January, 2004

A Dream Was Born

A Dream Was Born
This is the first anecdote in a series of blogs dedicated to my love affair with marching bands.

Back in 1990, I decided I was going to fulfill one of my dreams - to march in a Drum Corps International (DCI) drum and bugle corp.

The dream came to me my freshman year of high school as I was sitting in the old Alamo Heights High School band hall getting ready to hit the field to rehearse our new show based on exploring themes on Texas, the lonestar state. We were hearded into the main room to watch a DCI show that was supposed to demonstrate a "great marching band". With me being the arrogant second-chair trumpet player that I was(feeling the entire time I should've been first-chair), I sat down and figured that this would be a complete waste of my time, because at the tender age of 13, I already knew everything there was to know about marching band and trumpet playing. Boy, was I ever so wrong!

My favorite band director Mr. Gary Graser put on a 1989 tape of the Star of Indiana Drum And Bugle Corps. I was mesmerized by the technique and the marching ability that the group had! While I was watching the tape, I imagined myself taking the field with them, being the lead soprano player, sprinting 20 yards within 8 steps without missing a note, and winning the admiration of all my fellow (but yet, inferior ) corpsmen. Fawking awesome!

After that tape, I convinced myself that I was going to be part of a drum corps in the next couple of years. I hit the field super hard everyday, and marched my arse off and took my marching technique even more seriously. Everything I would learn from my high school band from that point on was to get me into a drum corp.

I would go to bed every night that year thinking about the show, dreaming about the show, and practicing my music. I would get so into the thought of marching that I would physically heat up by the thought of hitting my marks on the field. I loved being in the band and being good at it too while also sharing my love with others that I thought felt the same way.

Currently listening : I Melt With You [Single] By Modern English Release date: 13 June, 1990

Gawrsh! I'm Smart!

I took an IQ test today. I feel very, very special:

According to this test, "anything you can do I can do better..."

Currently listening : Physical By Olivia Newton-John Release date: 25 October, 1990

Note: This was originally posted on MySpace with comments at:
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=16074757&blogID=227980807&Mytoken=500D9A24-4E22-4BA0-8092A0A295E4FF9A60752154

Anna Nicole Died - She's So Outrageous

Anna Nicole Smith (ANS) has passed away today. I've admired ANS' beauty for a long time through thick and thin (years). Through her reality TV show, I got to see a side of her I never had personally been able to (although it was a bit distorted by clever editing ). Thank you ANS for years of entertainment and daydreaming. .

Currently watching : Skyscraper Release date: 22 July, 2003

Note: This was originally posted on MySpace with comments at:
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=16074757&blogID=227690916&Mytoken=EB07BDF0-D0BA-44AB-A0E024AE25524B6E59497537

A Half-Time Prince, A Full Time Man

I was at a rather interesting Super Bowl Party watching the Bears fall to the Colts. I enjoyed watching and listening to the hardcore football fans give their armchair and Monday Morning quarterback advise by yelling at the TV as if the players, coaches, and officials could hear them . We got through two grueling quarters with the Bears down 16-14. Then the halftime show started.

Prince took stage. Practically every woman in the place starts talking about how sexy the guy is. I heard comments like "He symbolizes sex" and "Goddamn he fine!" and "He's a musical genius...and damn is he sexy". From the guys, I heard, "You know he's only like 5 feet tall, right?" and "Isn't he gay? Or maybe bi?" and "OK...he hasn't had a hit since Purple Rain!"

I got to thinking: Why is everyone in awe of Prince and what makes him incredibly charasmatic? I've seen a live show from a very good seat before and he puts on a damn good show - maybe the best show I've ever seen. As a musician and singer, I definitely respect his songwriting, musicianship, and singing ability. From the angle of stage presence, the dude has the package.

My answer is that I believe that Prince is incredibly outwardly self-confident. People can sense a man with no fear or inhibitions and Prince seems to make decisions, actions, and movements that adhere to that rule. Perhaps he's an example of being responsible for your own choices and having little to no fear of the choices once makes in there lives...

or he's just a "sexy mothafawka"...

Currently listening : Purple Rain & the Revolution By Prince Release date: 31 May, 2005

Note: This was originally posted on MySpace with comments at:
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=16074757&blogID=226107820&Mytoken=EB07BDF0-D0BA-44AB-A0E024AE25524B6E59497537