Monday, July 25, 2011

Afraid Of The Help

I wake up almost every day feeling overwhelmed.  I created a gravity well of stuff I feel I have to do.  I feel ike I "have" to do something proactive every day.  I spend a ton of energy on these items (in no particular order):
  • Theatre (directing, acting, writing, booking, promoting)
  • Maintaining the landscaping
  • Doing Laundry (it never fawking ends!)
  • Cleaning up the house (this also never fawking ends!)
  • Work
  • Play with my kids
  • Call my friends & family
  • Create online content (music/video/pictures)
  • Home repairs
I wish I had a bloody assistant!  I have too many freaking things on my plate.  People tell me I don't delegate enough.  That is true.  However, I have also learned that many of the items I list above don't get done (or get done way to slowly) unless I do them myself or have someone tied to them who's invested emotionally with the item.  That's not a diss to anyone I work with on some of these things for they do their best to help out; however, I apoerate at different level than most with my expectations  and schedule to complete things.  I expect that these tasks are priority items when people help me out, and many times those same people don't see it that way.  I guess it's the nature of the beast.  The cliche holds true: good people are hard to find.  I am grateful for what help I do get but many times I wake up feeling helpless.

With that said, I hold the mantle for feeling this way.  I put too much emphasis on the future when I should probably be focusing on the task at hand.  I tend to operate out of a place of fear which probably motivates me to get things done quickly fearing the whole time that those things will not get done.  I need to work on accepting that when I do get help that the timeline I want may not be fulfilled and not be afraid to ask people to do it more quickly (many of the items above are time-sensitive for optimal results).  I may rub people the wrong way biut if I can approach it from the perspective of business and not make it a personal issue, I think these feelings I am having will dissipate.

But if I do get an assistant, she better be hot! :)

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