Thursday, December 9, 2010
It's kinda been that way my whole life. Some of the impetus behind that is that I hate having to compete with people for attention (yes, I know...ME WANTING A LOT OF ATTENTION?! :) ) I hear girls talk about it all the time as to why they don't like other girls - "They're catty and bitchy when other women get around". The same is true with a lot of men. When alpha males get around each other, it turns into a big cage match of overcoming their own insecurities at the expense of others around them. I feel into that sentiment quite easily. So, instead of head-butting my fellow actor/musician/pole vaulter, I just avoid those situations where competition will be the outcome. I run into the arms of my lady friends and gab and gossip about things like who they're dating, my family, and they occasional "Did You Hear About XYZ" topics. I've always been a mama's boy at heart as well and have plenty of daddy issues as well which I think contribute to my social idiocy.
It's time for me to grow up a bit and tackle my fears of male relationships. I've successfully done a ManDate a week for the last month and have reconnected with some people I haven't seen in years. I'm learning that I'm more secure in some areas of my life while still childish in a lot of others. Hopefully I can make these gatherings non-events in my mind because it'll just be the norm moving forward.