Thursday, August 19, 2010

Walk Down Constitution Lane - The First Amendment

I realized that most of us Americans throw around the numerical form of the Constitutional amendments when talking to others.  For example:

Friend: "Hey Nelson. Did you fool around with that ugly, old, fat chick after the show?"
Nelson: "I plead the fif! 1, 2, 3, 4...FIF!"
Nelson: "Man, I wonder if gun restrictions should be in place cuz mofos be shooting each other a lot lately."
Redneck: "I tell ya what, man.  If you take away my right to bear arms - my 2nd amendment! -then they'll have pry  it outta my cold, dead hand...sittin' over there. Ma gun went off accidentally and uhm...shot it clean off...kinda ironic ain't it?"
Republican: "THEY SHOULDN'T BUILD A MOSQUE NEAR GROUND ZERO! IT'S HALLOWED GROUND!"
Nelson & Obama: "They're entitled to be able to do so. The first amendment allows them to practice their beliefs. Hey, isn't that a strip club 2 blocks away from Ground Zero?"
I also realized that most of us don't know our Amendments beyond the 5th  so I'll post up the verbiage and any  related thoughts/jokes.


Amendment 1 - Freedom of Religion, Press, Expression.  
Ratified 12/15/1791. 

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

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