- (While screaming) "*Father's name*, when that DNA [test] comes back saying you are the father, you need to step up, and be a man, and take care of your responsibilities!!!"
- "Maury, I'm 1000% sure I (am/am not) that baby's father!"
- (While pointing at the TV screen with a side-by-side set of pictures of the baby & the accused) "Look at that! Look at that, Maury! My baby got the same (mouth/eyes/nose/ears/forehead/hairline/complexion/buckteeth/IQ) as his Daddy!"
- "I ain't slept with nobody else except him, Maury! I swear!"
Note: You can predict what the outcome will be due to the use of the double negative in this statement.
- "Maury, I'm step up and take care of that kid."
- (While screaming) "*Mother's name*, there's no way I can be the father of that kid cuz I went to the doctor and he told me I was sterile! So there's no way I can be the father of that baby!"
Note: The kind of guy saying this has 3-4 other kids with 3-4 other women.
- "There's no way I can be the father of that baby cuz we only had sex one time...it last only 2 minutes!"
If you have any other lines to offer, post 'em up!
Against the Machine: How the Web Is Reshaping Culture and Commerce -- and Why It Matters
By Lee Siegel
Release date: 2009-03-17
Note: This was originally posted on MySpace with comments at http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=16074757&blogId=484419537