With recent weight gain, I realized I needed to get back into shape for the New Year (and my overall health). I'll be replacing 40 lbs. of body fat with muscle over the next few months. Returning to Bally's Total Fitness after a long hiatus allowed some observations to be made:
- BTF's male locker room behavior
Perhaps it's just me but there's a weird sense of alpha male-ism in the air when I walk in there. We all give each other hardcore looks like "Stay away or you'll get jacked up" while at the same time giving each other passing, comparative male member glances to assert that we're adequately packin' the heat. It's a tense situation!
- BTF's saunas/pools/whirlpools are surrounded by fat, sleazy-looking men.
After I do about 30-45 minutes of cardio, I like to either go do some laps in the pool and/or soothe/massage my muscles in the whirlpool. Every time I go there, there's like group of 4-5 guys sitting around the pool (typically not in it or dangling only their feet in there) talking and creepily checking out the women walking around. Almost everyone of those guys I hadn't seen actually doing something to burn some calories . Granted, it could be just that I got there later than them and may have missed their entire workout. However, I see the same people sitting around day-to-day .
- Mirrors are a weight-lifters friend.
Everytime I walk by the free weights section, I see guys lifting weights and watching themselves in the mirror in a trans-like state. That whole section is full of mirrors. Vampires apparently are persona non grata at BTF.
- BTF hates their customers.
They do not spend any money on providing towels. With the prices they charge for the first 2-3 years, you would think they could fund a service to take care of towel duties. Hire some interns to do it. There's nothing like having a sweaty guy leave the machine sopping wet with their sweat right before you're going to use it.
- I'm out of shape.
Don't let yourself go. It just makes it harder to get back into shape. I saw little, skinny girls kicking my butt on the treadmill. Next you'll see me lifting those cute pink barbells while watching myself in the mirror .
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Dog the Bounty Hunter: Best of Seasons 1, 2 and 3
Release date: 26 June, 2007