Sunday, July 29, 2007

I Couldn't Make This Up Even If I Wanted To

I was at my brother-in-laws high school graduation party yesterday. I am typically one of the very few adults around that remains sober the entire time. When the idea of a beer run is thrown around, I always volunteer as I am the most likely person to make it back in one piece.

We're outside playing bags, and having a good time. My sister-in-law asks me to go out and grab some beer. Of course, I oblige and ask what kind of beer. She says, "Get a 12 pack of Miller Lite and a case of Sam Adams Cherry Wheat." After asking about these items about 20 times, I get ready to go one my way. My niece and brother-in-law's girlfriend ask if they could come along. I'm like "Sure. Hop on in." We head out to the local Jewel Osco.

We arrive at the grocery store and walk in. The girls are reminding me of what we're looking for at the store. We get into the liquor department and start searching. The girls know exactly where to look while I look like a buffoon not knowing what the hell I'm doing. After finding the Miller Lite and spending about 10 minutes search for the Sam Adams, I came to the realization that when we check out, this is going to look incredibly bad. Here's a 30 year old Hispanic guy with 2 underage Caucasian girls buying beer on a Saturday night with the Hispanic guy letting the girls tell him what to buy. It's the beginning of a scene of America's Most Wanted!

We got to the checkout section and I had to ask the lady if they actually had the Sam Adam's somewhere hidden. I couldn't remember the name of the beer quickly enough, so, of course, the girls fill in the blanks. I got a really scornful look from the lady and she was like "No. We don't carry that kind." I paid for my selection and left with the girls in tow.

As we pulled out of the driveway, I thought "OK. I have my driver's license ready, my insurance card handy, and my registration in the glove box. When the undercover cop that was tailing me in the store calls for SWAT, I should be okay enough to not get shot "

We all made it back to the party unscathed. Mental note - avoid having an underage female entourage when going on a beer run. You're just looking for a beatdown.

Currently listening :
King Of The Surf Guitar: The Best Of Dick Dale & His Del-Tones
By Dick Dale & the Del-Tones
Release date: 04 August, 1989

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