Well, folks, it's official. I did not get to be in one frame of film tonight. I was pretty disappointed when I left and the folks around did their best to console me. I did thank each and everyone of them for their efforts and eventually left.
My friend Sheryl used to tell me that when something happens that makes you emotional, dwell only on the positive aspects of the situation. So, I did. I thought about how cool it was to be around a movie again, how cool the cast and crew were this time around, how cool it was to actually eat with the cast and crew and not be relegated as subhumans to an "extras" table, how I was allowed to linger on set without someone treating me like a 5 year old and shooing me away, how I was able to go into the character I was given (a bum) by just taking on a posture and an emotion and playing it so well, and that I made general people passing by nervous like they do around an authentic homeless guy
As I drove home, a thought popped in my head. Why not invite the director and anyone else he feels would like, to my upcoming shows?! As I continued driving, I figured that it wouldn't hurt and that it would most likely be seen by the director because he's going to be in town for the next few weeks, and his homebase is in downtown Chicago. My spirits began to lift a bit.
After getting home, I decided to go on a walk with Lola. I thought about what I would say in this invitation. I decided to thank him and his crew for the opportunity to potentially have participated in the film (which is more than what some people get), and formally invite him to the show. Why not circumvent the industry-set chain-of-command and get to know the guy personally? Even if he can't make it or maybe never receives the letter, at least I made a formal and heart-felt attempt to get to know someone I respect and admire in some ways.
I found the silver lining after all. The silver lining is that this was my wake up call to get my arse in gear and get listed with talent agencies. I want to avoid what I went through emotionally today, hone my art, and finally, actually have fun on the set as an actor, not as as an extra hoping to be an actor.
Thanks for those of you reading these last couple of blogs. I hope you get something out of it as I did.
| Currently listening : |
Sultans of Swing: The Very Best of Dire Straits
By Dire Straits
Release date: 27 October, 1998