Friday, July 21, 2006

Anyone Can Be a Rapper

I went to my favorite restaraunt last night (Uncle Julio's Hacienda) and was kidding around with the bartenders that know me all too well due to the thousands of dollars I spend there in a year. I saw him pick up a glass to start a drink I chanted,

"PUT SOME ICE IN IT!
PUT SOME ICE IN IT!
WHAT?!
PUT SOME ICE IN IT!
SON!
PUT SOME ICE IN IT!
SALT!
PUT SOME ICE IN IT!
SWIRL!"

All these rap guys say, "Well, you know what I'm sayin'...I'm jus' spittin' 'bout my life and stuff I know about...I don' rap 'bout fur coats...or shiny shoes...or even 'bou tthe apocalypse...I keep it real. Like the other day I saw a relative of mine and I busted a rhyme like,

'LET ME DRIVE THE HONDA CIVIC TO THE LOCAL SNACK SHACK!
LET ME DRIVE THE HONDA CIVIC TO THE LOCAL SNACK SHACK!'

But you know...Moms wasn't havin' that cuz, you know, she was drivin' the car to hide it from the repo man and she was tired of takin' the bus. You know. It's sh*t like that I talk about. My boy the other day came around with his new girl. Whoo! After lookin' this girl up and down and sizin' her up, I leaned over to my friend with a smile and said,

'GAWD DAMN! YOU GOT YOSELF AN UGLY LOOKA RIGHT THERE!
RUN AND HIDE! GOT YOSELF AN UGLY LOOKA RIGHT THERE!'

So's, I keep it street, you know what I'm sayin'. Real hardcore. I got this new joint that's hot in the clubs right now. We be talkin' 'bout how we ball once we're inside...I had Busta, Fitty, and Fisticuffs all guest on it. The hook got this piano part played by the honorable queen of the streets Liberace and we all goes,

'I'M BROKE! YO! SPOT ME A FIFTY!
I'M BROKE! YO! THIS CLUB IS SO NIFTY!
I'M BROKE! YO! MY CLOTHES ARE THRIFTY!
DON'T BE COMIN' 'ROUND SON! CUZ I WILL ROB YOU IN A JIFFY!
CUZ I'M BROKE!'

Yeah boy! That's dope! See, I've got my man Frosted Flake (Efinef) hittin' it up from the otherside, you know. He's flippin' the script on the urban experience and bring it in from a whole new level, you know what I'm sayin'? We got this record called "CrackaJax" and we sing on this one! Yeah, we got soul singin' on this one, son! It's loosely based on the ole, ole, ole, OLE school track "Amadeus" that came out when Efinef was just comin' into the game. It goes like this,

'CRACK-A-JAX CRACK-A-JAX CRACK-A-JAX
CRACK-A-JAX CRACK-A-JAX CRACK-A-JAX
CRACK-A-JAX CRACK-A-JAX CRACK-A-JAX
OH OH OH CRACK-A-JAX'"

See, it's so easy to be a rapper! Just rap about everything you see when you're walking to the bus stop or when you're sitting on the john. The next hit can come from the crapper! Come to think of it, many of them already do

Currently listening :
New Joc City
By Yung Joc
Release date: By 06 June, 2006

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