That's right America. Your American Idol is Taylor Hicks. The 29 year-old, gray-haired, "soul" singer that just happens to be one of the whitest guys to ever rock that show. Have you seen this guys moves on stage?! My favorite is when it took him two of his goofy kicks to knock down the microphone stand in the heat of performing. Apparently, he didn't train with Mr. Miyagi (may he rest in peace along with Matsuo 'Arnold' Takahashi, the owner of the famed Arnold's featured in a Weezer video) cuz even Ralph 'Ponyboy' Maccio could've kicked that pole down with the help of his cousin Vinnie.
Anyway, the annoying part of Taylor isn't his dancing, his singing, or even his appearance. Him shouting "Soul Patrol" every chance he gets does make him appear as pretentious as Eminem taking Tupac's vocals and having him say "G-G-G-Unit" on his 1500th posthemous album. How many times in the next 10 years is he going to get resurrected? Jesus even knew to come back just one more time for the remix then end his career.
(Record producer)
"Awe, sheet! New Orleans is unda wata! We needs a Tupac relief single!"
(Tupac under water)
"Awe, Hell Mareh! *girgle* *girgle* *choke*"
Back to Taylor: Yes, I understand the boy has got an affinity for soul music which is nice and admirable. Yes, the "Soul Patrol" is a fan branding name and isn't meant to be taking too seriously. Maybe I am envious I didn't think of calling my fans by a catchy name. Ok, all of my fans, you are now part of the "Dork Patrol".
I am happy that he succeeded even though he was told he wasn't going to a la Simon's infinite wisdom. But, I find him very pretentious right now and will wait to see what he comes out with after winning AI before I classify him as a "soul" singer. Maybe he reminds me of myself and I don't like what I see...wait, I love what I see! Jump back! Gon' kiss myself! HAY!
VH1 right now is on a metal rock frenzy lately. I get to watch the history of metal and the intricate nature of metal music; flashback to clips of lots of leather, spandex, long hair, and artists that should've invested some of their fortunes in the Maybeline line of cosmetics instead of snorting it up their noses. Dee Snyder of Twisted Sister fame was the only recurring commentator that had something to say that was intelligent and right on the mark concerning it.
However, is VH1 telling me metal is back? It also comes of pretentious for them to do it since they classically don't focus on non-mainstream forms of music. VH1 has been all about hip-hop for the last few years. Are they trying to change it to metal? Or is metal really here and I didn't get my spandex in the mail? Damn it, Mom! I'm going bald and hair is back in! DAMN IT!
 | Currently listening : Stay Hungry By Twisted Sister Release date: By 25 October, 1990 |
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